I Really Can't Believe This Is Even A Hot Topic!!!

Fucking God Damned Christ In Hell Stupid People Piss Me Off!!!!!

Okay, so now that I got THAT out of my system, onto today's post. I'm a little earlier tonight than I was previously, mainly because everyone else went to bed earlier too. And yes, I'm so totally listening to the scanner right now too!!

I'm a little pissed off because I had several topics I wanted to blog about tonight, but now I can't remember a single one of them because of the stupid drama that unfolded today that is now going to take up my whole post.

Probably.

Sooooo, and yes I will admit, that this is turning into a much more sensitive debate than any political or religious debate could ever HOPE to be, and honestly, it's just plain stupid. The debate? Breastfeeding vs. formula feeding. *Ducks as random objects are hurled at her head* Damn people, I haven't said what side I'm on yet!!! See what I mean??

Here's my take on the whole damn thing:
It's a fucking personal choice!! That's really ALL it is. You're neither a bad mother or a good mother for choosing EITHER side!! I can list a TON of pro's and a TON of con's for BOTH sides, and you know what? They come out just about even. You throw any argument at me, and I will throw one right back to counter what you just said to me. Go on, I dare you. I actually DID my research on this one today, as this little dramafest unfolded before my very eyes. You see, I'm a Libra true and true. You know, "The Diplomat", "The Scales". We're born debaters, able to see BOTH sides of an argument, and we do our research so we can present the best, most logical argument for a case. (I wouldn't be surprised to hear that most of the great lawyers and judges in this country are in fact Libras. Someone look that information up for me, will you? I'm too lazy right now.)

What basically happened was one of the many militant breastfeeding mother's on my friend's list (yes, on FB. I'm totally ashamed. But whatev) got her maxi pad all in a bunch because she read on a mutual new mother's FB that she had stopped breastfeeding and had switched to formula. To say that this mother got her maxi pad in a bunch is a bit of an understatement. It's more like she got it all doubled over, twisted around, and somehow shoved up her ass. She totally flipped out about a mother of a newborn (not exactly newborn, the baby is now just over 2 months old) dares to feed her child formula (someone please queue the over dramatic DUHDUHDUH music)!!! How dare her do this atrocity to her child!!! So, this militant mom goes on her blog which EVERYONE has access to, mainly because she constantly pushes it on everyone via FB - Hey, I'm all for blogging, obviously, duh! But I do not push my blog onto my friends and family. Hell, they don't even know this shit exists!! That's the wonder of anonymity - no self editing to protect my inner circle of friends/family feelings!! Anyway, she goes on her blog and publicly blasts the other mother and says things like "I don't care what your reasons are, you're just wrong... Formula feeding is just wrong, no excuses!" and "you formula feeding parents have screwed our future". She goes on and on and not in exactly these words, but pretty much calls the other mom lazy and then blasts her for being a bad mother to that poor helpless defenseless child who is too young to know the difference between breast milk and formula!! (Now I need someone to queue the sad violin music!)

I have to say that this exchange really REALLY rubbed me the wrong way. Like sandpaper on the cooch wrong. I was fucking FURIOUS over this. All because this was simply the straw that broke this camel's toe. Wait, that's not right. Broke it's back. Yeah that's it.

I don't know why, but I have a a good handful of these damn militant breastfeeding moms on my FB. All of them know me well, most of them have known me for a very long time. One in particular has known me for over 10 years now, knew me when I was preggo with my 10yo girl, was around after her birth and for fucks sake, should honestly know I formula fed. But for WHATEVER reason, these women seem to forget what kind of mother I am, and automatically assume I'm going to take up their cause simply because I have honestly raised 4 of the best god damned kids you'll ever be lucky enough to meet. I'm not shitting you, my kids are fucking fantastic, and I'm not just saying that because I'm their mother and could possibly be a little biased. I'll admit, the 13yo boy could use a lot of work, but it's nothing that my recently returned home little brother can't help. The boy just needs a good strong positive male role model in life to help him through some of his awkwardness. But all in all, he's still a damn good kid. They all make me super duper proud, and yes, I am one of those annoying as fuck parent's that constantly brag about their kids and how cool they are, so fuck off about it already!!

When I say my kids are awesome, they truly fucking are. They're exceptionally brilliant, with all of them pulling top grades at a constant rate, they're all musical geniuses (hell, the oldest has been asked and asked and begged to play for our city's youth symphony - yes, she's that damn good at what she does!! And the only reason the other's haven't yet is because they don't meet the minimum age requirements yet!) But on top of being super smart and super musically talented, they're also some of the most polite children you will ever meet today too. "Yes, Ma'am", "No, Ma'am", "Please", "Thank you!" "May I..." are all a constant part of their vocabulary. They're all involved with one of the youth groups at our church (yes, this foul mouthed FUCK YOU mother attends church on a regular basis!!) On top of all of that, they are also some of the funniest damn kids I have ever been around. They're not stuffy, they're not stuck up, they accept everyone as they are, no questions asked. My kids are super polite in social and public situations, but at home they are free to be who they want to be, and they're totally comfortable telling fart jokes, blond jokes, you name it, and honestly, some of the funniest shit I've ever heard has come from banter between them!! This is how I've raised my kids. With a firm but loving hand. They knew their limits at a very early age and they've known their whole lives not to push them, because while mom is their best friend, she is also mom. And for a vast majority of their lives, I've been a single mom too. To say that I am very proud of these kids is to put it as a mild statement. These kids are single handedly my life, and I have put them above and before literally EVERYTHING else in my life!! I'm currently unemployed because my previous employer had the AUDACITY to tell me that I needed to get my priorities in order because I had requested to leave early for one of my children's functions. I simply told them that I DID have my shit straight, and that perhaps one of the biggest problems with today's society is that there are too many people like him that DON'T have their shit straight. Needless to say, he didn't agree with me. Shame for his wife and kids though. Maybe I shouldn't have said that either. Oh well! More time for these fucking fabulous kids of mine!

Back to the offense at hand. These damn Militant Breast Feeding Moms (MBFM's), always seem to forget that I formula fed my kids. Perhaps it's because they see the awesome that is my children and think to themselves "there's no way they came from a can!!" so they go on these marches, parades, rants, public bashings calling formula mothers "lazy" and "bad" and "stupid" and then, while they are standing there on their soap boxes, have the audacity to reach out and elbow me and say "ISN'T THAT RIGHT, BEST MOM EVAH??"

Ummm. No. I formula fed my kids you cunt. Fuck off.

And it's not even JUST the fact that they are basically calling me lazy, bad, and stupid that really pisses me off. And I mean that does a good number to my temper levels, but honestly, I don't give a shit what people think of my parenting skills, because really, all they have to do is look at my kids and that's enough to shut the mouth of even my toughest critic (which honestly, more often than not, is me anyway. You wouldn't believe how often I have to tell that annoying bitch in my head to shut the fuck up!)

What REALLY gets me going on this WHOLE FUCKING TOPIC, is that great parents are being bashed for a simple choice, when there are god awful parents out there who could give a fuck less about what their child eats, and treat their children worse than scum at the bottom of a nasty dumpster behind that greasy spoon down the street. There are children out there in the world today who have never heard a kind word or even understood what the REAL concept of love honestly is. There are children out there in the world RIGHT NOW that are being beaten, raped, burned, and starved to death, and yet... YOU WANT TO BLAST SOMEONE BECAUSE THEY FORMULA FEED????? For fucking Christ's sake people, if the WORST thing a mother ever does to her child is feed them formula, than that right there folks is one seriously blessed child!!! Get the fuck over this dumb ass debate, turn your hatred and anger into something useful and go volunteer to be a Court Appointed Special Advocate. Make a change in one of these abused and/or neglected children's lives. Show these special children that someone, somewhere out there honestly gives 2 shits about them!! Maybe then you'll see that this god damned debate is about the dumbest fucking thing you've ever heard in your life!!

And if you can't see that, then fuck off anyway you miserable pig!!

Love Always,
Teh Best Mom Evah!!

P.S. ~ I would just like to let everyone here know that my bestie kicked her way out of her mom's cooter and demanded Taco Bell. She told me this, and I totally believe her. And you should too!